The Scale of Romance Scams

Romance scams are among the most financially devastating types of fraud. In 2023, Americans reported losing $1.14 billion to romance scams — and the real number is likely much higher, since many victims are too embarrassed to report them.

Unlike other scams that happen in minutes, romance scams unfold over weeks or months. The scammer invests significant time building a fake relationship, making the victim feel loved and special before ever asking for money.

How It Starts

Romance scammers operate on dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, Match), social media (Facebook, Instagram), and even gaming platforms. They create attractive, believable profiles — often using stolen photos of real people.

The scammer makes first contact and builds a connection quickly. They're attentive, romantic, and say all the right things. They'll mirror your interests, share personal "secrets" to build intimacy, and make you feel like you've found someone truly special.

You can check if someone's photos are real by doing a reverse image search. Save their profile photo and upload it to Google Images or TinEye. If the same photo appears under different names, it's stolen.

The "Can't Meet" Excuse

A key feature of romance scams is that the person can never meet in person. Common excuses include:

If someone you've only met online always has an excuse for why they can't video call or meet in person, this is one of the strongest indicators of a romance scam.

  1. They're deployed in the military overseas.
  2. They work on an oil rig, ship, or in a remote location.
  3. They're a doctor working abroad.
  4. Their webcam is broken.
  5. They were just about to visit but something came up (illness, accident, legal trouble).

When the Money Requests Start

The amounts often start small and increase over time. The scammer may "repay" early amounts to build trust before requesting a much larger sum.

  1. "I need money for a plane ticket to come see you."
  2. "I'm in the hospital and can't access my bank account."
  3. "My child is sick and I can't afford treatment."
  4. "I'm stuck in customs and need to pay a fee to get home."
  5. "I have a business opportunity but need money to invest — I'll pay you back double."

Red Flags to Watch For

These warning signs don't individually prove someone is a scammer, but multiple signs together should raise serious concern:

  1. The relationship moves very fast — they declare love within days or weeks.
  2. They can never video call or meet in person.
  3. Their story has inconsistencies or seems too dramatic.
  4. They ask you to move the conversation to WhatsApp or a private channel quickly.
  5. They ask for money, gift cards, or cryptocurrency for any reason.
  6. They ask you to keep the relationship or financial transactions secret.
  7. They get angry or guilt-trip you when you express doubt.

Protecting Yourself and Loved Ones

Romance scams can happen to anyone — people of all ages, genders, and education levels have been victims. The emotional manipulation is sophisticated and there is no shame in being targeted.

  1. Never send money to someone you haven't met in person — no matter how real the relationship feels.
  2. Do a reverse image search on their photos.
  3. Be suspicious of anyone who can't video call after weeks of messaging.
  4. Talk to friends and family about new online relationships — a fresh perspective can reveal red flags you've been too emotionally invested to see.
  5. If you suspect a romance scam, stop all contact and report the profile to the platform.